From Tom Bergstrom
Port Townsend, Washington

My favorite moment in the Winter Olympics in Lillehammer several years ago occurred when someone was interviewing Kjell Aamodt who ultimately won the slallom: "Kjell, this is the greatest collection of skiers on the most difficult course ever designed. What's it going to take to medal today?" Aamodt said: "Vell, I tink you have to finish first, second, or third."

From Bud Halverson

Uff Da is when you step over it. Fee DA is when you step in it.

For a definition of "uff DA," CLICK BELOW

From Dean & Gloria Peterson
Bradenton, Florida

THE LUTEFISK RITUAL

For a parody on "A Night Before Christmas" -- as told by a Scandinavian who hates lutefisk -- CLICK HERE

From Gary Morgan
Houston, Texas

The following jokes might be perceived by some as "politically incorrect," but are included because they do strike us as well-intentioned, good-natured humor.

LARS OLAFSEN

This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign "Lars Olafsen's Laundry."

"Lars Olafsen?", he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"

So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Lars Olafsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers "Is name of owner."

The visitor asks, "Well, who is the owner?"

"I am he," answers the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Lars Olafsen?"

The old man replies:

"Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blond Norwegian. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Lars Olafsen.' She look at me and say, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'

IRISH AND NORWEGIANS

We celebrate March 17th in commemoration of St. Patrick's great and noble deed in driving the Norwegians out of Ireland.

It seems that centuries ago many Norwegians came to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time and food was scarce.

The Norwegians were eating almost all of the fish caught in the ocean, leaving the Irish with nothing but potatoes.

St. Patrick, taking matters into onto his own hands, like most Irishman, decided all the Norwegians had to go. Secretly he organized the IRATION (Irish Republican Army to Rid Ireland of Norwegians). Irish members of the IRATION sabotaged all the power plants in hopes the fish in Norwegian refrigerators would spoil, forcing the Norwegians to a cooler climate where their fish would keep. The fish spoiled all right, but the Norwegians, as everyone knows to this day, thrive on spoiled fish. Faced with failure, the Irishmen sneaked into the Norwegian fish storage caves in the dead of the night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian intruders, but as everybody knows, this is how lutefisk was introduced to the Norwegians, and how they thrived on the lye soaked smelly fish.

Matters became even worse for the Irish when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop to make lefse. Poor St. Patrick was at his wits end. Finally, on March 17, he blew his top and told the Norwegians to "go to hell" -- and it worked, because all the Norwegians left Ireland and went to Minnesota.